March 18, 2021

What comedy can teach us – Part Two

So how does/do narcissism or narcissistic systems create this inability to feel good about ourselves? One theory posits that the healthy emotional development of children hinges on parent-child eye contact known as the “gaze” (often the mothers’ but not necessarily only). When our parents encourage, praise, love, and look at us the experience gives us substance. It lets us know we are “something” in the world. It’s an important building block for positive feelings about self, our inner emotional structure, the “shelves” that Neal Brennan (3 Mics, 2017) talked about. Growing up in toxic, dysfunctional systems children are often denied this gaze. Narcissistic parents by definition are not able to access that part of themselves from which they give – […]
March 14, 2021

What we can learn from comedy

Neal Brennan 3 Mics 2017 (Netflix. is a Netflix comedy special (which I get it, I’m late in coming to!) divided into three parts – one liners, stand up comedy, and “emotional stuff”. In the “emotional stuff” segments, Brennan tells his story with brutal honesty. He shares with us his life long struggle with depression and the challenges of having had a violent, alcoholic, narcissistic father.  There was so much wisdom in what he shared about depression – and depression as a consequence of a narcissistic parent, that I had to explore and share. I have been privy to so many similar stories, my own included – and I just felt how he talked about it gave a new […]