March 29, 2019

The First Voice You Hear

Studies have show that when you change your answer on a multiple-choice exam, you usually find out your original answer was right.  Where does that first voice come from? We have an answer but we hesitate, we doubt ourselves, but our original voice is so often correct!  So many times people have said “At first I felt like this wasn’t a good idea (relationship, job, event, answer…) but I went and did it anyway – and it turned out wrong for me. Why do we have such a hard time listening to that first voice? Because, whether you know it or not, that first voice is YOUR voice. It’s your intuition. It’s your wisdom talking. It’s the things you learned […]
March 21, 2019

Anxiety

It’s pretty standard fare to have clients come to my office because of anxiety. I’d like to talk about one small (not small) aspect of anxiety. In Martha Beck’s wonderful book Finding Your Own North Star, she talks about how we all have an essential self and a social self – and that the further “apart” these two selves are, the higher and more intense the experience of anxiety. The Essential Self is the ‘you’, you really are on the inside – the one who has dreams and passions and a vision of what their life could be. The Social Self is the ‘you’, you show the world – the one who accommodates others’ expectations of you, the one who […]
March 4, 2019

Our Stories

What defines you? Your past? Your present? Your future ambition? For those of us who have had a rough start in life with our families, we can sometimes fall into a trap of being defined by what happened to us. We grow up into adults with a story – and yes, while that’s the case for everyone – some of us stay a little stuck in one story. We don’t necessarily grow out of a story, we don’t move on to a new one. What I find is that those of us who haven’t yet “processed”, “resolved”, “come to terms with” our story, have a tendency to find ourselves trapped. We recycle the same narrative, same thoughts, same feelings that […]