Sometimes I don’t always make the best of decisions. This past weekend for example might have been one of those times. Husband and I decided we would cycle the Nordet … A daunting 80km ride that is pretty much as challenging as the Cabot Trail – which, by the way, when we cycled that, we trained for months! Not only did we decide on the Nordet, but it was our first cycle of the season. I knew something was wrong when a few kilometres in all I ever saw on the road were spandex clad young men and women, on racer bikes, with their Ironman competition numbers on their backs and bikes. Yet… we persevered! I’m sure it didn’t take […]
I found this essay on PTSD called The Bonds Of Battle, written by Sebastian Junger, in The BEST American Essays, edited and with an introduction by Jonathan Franzen, Robert Atwan Series Editor, 2016. It’s an intriguing and helpful look at how and why PTSD persists, in Junger’s estimation, due to isolation. I have seen clients come into my practice suffering from PTSD for different reasons.The common theme among these clients was their desire to be left alone. Yet, they suffered tremendously for the lack of connection and contact – even if they strongly believed that contact would be the worst thing for them. I find it hard to argue with Junger, who posits that what is needed, desperately, is not […]
The Click.. So often, couples report, when talking about how they met, that “we just clicked“. Its worth taking a moment to understand that click. What we call clicking with someone, is actually the experience of being seen and understood. If you come from a European background, chances are high that you will “click” with someone who also has a European background. You “get” each other, you “recognize” the shared cultural values, the language, the nuances of unwritten rules first generation kids had to learn, for example. If you click because you both come from solid family backgrounds, imbued with respect, an understanding of empathic attunement, whether you call it that or not .. You again will feel seen and understood and […]
Mind over Money, by Klontz and Klontz, is an excellent exploration into the emotional and psychological relationship we all have to money. Understand how pivotal moments in your early years may be affecting how you handle money now. If you struggle with money, or it causes conflicts in your couple or family, this is the book for you.
Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight is the road map we use in couple’s therapy to help you get back to the couple you want to be. I ask all my couples to read this before we start on our work together. Learn what you are really saying when you get stuck in your familiar patterns and learn how to hear it from your partner.
Bibliotherapy is a fabulous adjunct to face-to-face talk therapy. There is so much information and wisdom out there why not take advantage! Under The Library section of My Blog, you will find titles I regularly recommend to my clients. Struggling with self-esteem? Nathaniel Branden’s seminal work The Six Pillars of Self Esteem has helped countless clients regain a sense of themselves, change negative thoughts – through the act of writing, an important part of the work in this book – and allowed for the sense of competency and mastery of self needed to live fully and happily. You will not regret using this book.